A while back, my first time in China, I remember that my Chinese colleague pointed out a grammatical error in this huge billboard greeting visitors leaving the airport. And thereafter I've seen many strange English in that country the two times I've visited afterwards. But then, today as I was entering the Barajas airport in Spain I saw "Chek-in" written on one o the direction signs on a ramp leading to one of the terminals. So it's not just the Chinese who aren't too good with English.
Because English is the lingua franca of the world, it is required in one way or another, on one level or another, you will find an attempt at it everywhere. Not only on public or private signs, but also in the local's communications with you. Many will try to speak the little English they know with you, with a lot of nervousness. Some, like this Eastern European bartender in a cafe inside the Segovia bus station, will not bother and simply say "Spanish, please." And while they attempt to speak, it's often at least a polite and courteous attempt, but the visitor, who speaks English often simply because she doesn't speak the local language, might not realize that or appreciate it, because she needs something that is making her nervous.
At the hotel, for example, the lady tried to speak some English with us. I don't know who's more nervous, me speaking Spanish or her. When I try to speak it, people seem to require that I repeat myself, which makes me even more nervous. Did I say something wrong? Wrong conjugation? Mispronunciation? Simply non-sensicle? When I am not in that situation and reflect back at it, I often understand that perhaps they didn't expect any Spanish from me. They were in the "attempt-to-communicate-in-English" mode so they were understandably caught off-guard. Once I start speaking they could switch back to their native language mode while I would speak more clearly being less nervous. And I wonder if they feel the same way when I try to listen to them in English. But then again, I don't know how much English they really know, and sometimes I feel I know more Spanish then they do.
Language is a funny thing, speaking it, using it to communicate. For me it's interesting because I can dissect it, but it's also difficult because it requires that I relax and not get too uptight about the grammar rules and pronunciation. I forget that I am not in my Spanish or German or Hindi class, that I am not being graded and judged. In fact, regardless of how poorly I speak, people invariably mention at the end that they were impressed by my language, even when I am attempting Hindi and they could barely understand what I am saying. The reality is that I am my own harshest judge. I see my own mistakes and feel worse when the person in front of me catches mistakes I didn't even know I make. This guilt makes it harder for me to speak next time, which could be as soon as the next sentence. It brings up a lot of self-esteem issue, and the whole language speaking thing is a great example of one of my patterns, which is that of an over-achiever who is never satisfied with his own achievements. I understand that my language skills surpass most people I know, and yet instead of giving myself a pad in the back, I am constantly fearing disapproval, often in the form of corrections or worse, a blank and confused stare from the recipient of my linguistic attempts.
But it is changing. I am less bothered by the perceived disapprobation, less upset that I've made a grammatical error. I listen more to my amateur linguist voice, which says that you can't learn to speak fluently unless you simply keep speaking and listening, and corrections can be done on the way but not as a driving force. And the change in attitude does reflect in my graduate change in attitude about life in general. Why be so uptight about everything? Why live my life within the cage of all these rules I make up just because I want to have more control about life?
If one of the European Union's capital airports misspell an English word for the world to see, if the next super power blares out ludicrous and laughable "Chinglish", all as an attempt to respect this lingua franca, why should I be so embarrassed about making mistakes in speaking other people's languages? The fact that a speaker of the dominant language of the world makes an attempt at other languages shows some humility already, and there is no need to apologize, let alone feel guilty, about making mistakes in the language. When I stop being so nervous and uptight about speaking, I will speak more gently, enunciate better, and people's reaction, if they are so important to me, will become even more positive.
